The bone of contention

miniature schnauzer puppy
Image by Odalaigh via Flickr

Do you see the schnauzer puppy?  Do you think he is cute?

He is really a bone of contention.  One of my dogs, a 15-lb. mostly Min Pin, has two views on him.  The first is that when he gets too close to me, he is a usurper who needs to be put in his place.  The second  is that he is her adorable little brother that she plays with and protects.

What this means for me is that I am a bit in the middle.  In fact I have been bitten for being in the middle.  When she is mad at him and goes for his gullet with her teeth, I have stopped her with my left arm.  I have two small black and blues from that.

When she decides that one of my other dogs is going to hurt her adorable little brother, she attacks the other dog.  Did you know that dogs hold on and do not let go?  Did you know that getting between a 15-lb mighty mite and a 35-lb normally laid back but now angry bitch will result in pain to the person who gets between them?  I have a royal bruise on my left arm and wrist and a nice claw scab on my left ankle from protecting my big dog from my smaller dog while the bone of contention looked on squealing in horror.

My lower arm swelled up and required ice and aspirin.  It’s now purple around my wrist front and back.  I wonder what Cesar Millan would say.  I decided that I was absolutely no good at potty training or even having dogs.  I may have dreamed that I was the leader of the pack after watching hours of the Dog Whisperer, but . . . .

So I gave up.  I turned it all over to God and told him I was getting out of the way.  But when mighty mite went after the old dog because the puppy was harrassing the old dog, there I came swinging a giant basket full of stuff to get between them.  I’m sure that looked unusual, but you can’t bite someone if there is a giant basket full of stuff between the two of you.

Right now the bone of contention is lying by my computer chair, all innocence.

Do you see the puppy?  Do you think he’s cute?  Guess again.

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Dog Training

A black-and-silver Miniature Schnauzer puppy n...
Image via Wikipedia

Do you see the schnauzer puppy?  Do you think he is cute?

Do you know how to potty train a very stubborn puppy?  I have piddle pads in strategic locations.  I put him, all 5 pounds of him, kicking and screaming into a crate at night.  I have other dogs who decide they want to go out from midnight until dawn and wake him up.  At 2 a.m. he screams in the crate.  I think to myself, maybe he has to do something.  I take him outside.  He waits until he is back inside and pees on the rug.

He will take a s–t when and where he pleases.  It maybe on a piddle pad or maybe not.  Sometimes I don’t find the s–t until it’s as hard as a rock.  Sometimes he finds it and uses it as a teething device. We sometimes call him Sir S–ts Alot.

Right now he is chewing on my computer chair.  He isn’t very discriminating.

Do you see the puppy? Do you think he is cute?  Guess again.

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New Scars for Old

Miniature Schnauzer female puppy
Image via Wikipedia

Do you see the schnauzer puppy?  Do you think he is cute?

What I don’t know about puppies probably fills a library’s worth of books.  I know kittens.  They like to bite and scratch, but they are also willing to take all petting and stroking as is their due.

The puppy is now 9 weeks old.  Here are his favorite activities in order of obnoxiousness.  He has bitten me bloody all over my hands and arms.  He also likes to dig for them when I hide them so I am scratched up, too. He challenges the big dogs and cries when they get too rough.  If I cried when he was too rough with me, we’d have a lake in our backyard.  Wait a minute, we do have a lake in our backyard.  The puppy is innocent of that one.  I blame the contractors.

He just took a dump 5 inches away from the piddle pad.  When the stuff (use your imagination for the word I mean) gets dry, he uses it to decorate the house.  Yes, he picks it up and carries it to a location of his preference.  Somehow I got into a redecorating project last night and have spread dog-do all over a carpet in a confined space.  I’ll have to do some fancy footwork to get my industrial strength carpet cleaner to this mess.

And this is the same mouth he uses to bite me and occasionally lick me, most often aiming for my mouth or nose.  You haven’t lived until you have a puppy slurp buggers out of your nose with the same mouth he uses to move his poop to where he wants it.

Do you see the puppy?  Do you think he is cute?  Guess again.

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Cuddling Happens

Do you see the schnauzer puppy?  Do you think he is cute?

The puppy’s mommy has been real sick so I have been taking more care of him than usual.  We’ve even been sleeping together in my bed.  What happened to the crate?  I couldn’t stand it.  It went back outside.

Anyway since the puppy has slept with me for a few days we have started to reach an understanding.  No, he still moves the dog-doo and I still get french-kissed with doo-doo breath.  I also still need to figure out how to clean the floor.

Last night as I lay upon the couch watching TV, the puppy asked to climb up.  The min-pin was lying on the top of the couch like a cat.  The puppy must have been tired from tearing up his “mail” and his other feats of magic. (Right now he is pulling an empty book bag from the bedroom into the office.) So he got in my arms and I started to stroke him gently; and, low and behold, he fell asleep in my arms like a baby.

How can I be mad at such a sweetie?

See the puppy? Do you think he’s cute? I do.

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